Ignorance of Inteligence

Laying in a hospital bed, I was completely paralyzed, but at least I finally knew what disease i was experiencing. Though the affliction were the same as the day before, knowing why and what was happening to me was a relief. Then I had a nurse tell me that my rare disease was made up by a doctor so I'd quit asking him what i have. Because she thought she knew so much, she thought that she knew it all so when a disease came across her sheet that she didn't know, she dismissed it as something made up. Because after all, she knew everything already. After a month stay in the hospital i then had a doctor tell me with all his experience that i would never play sports again. After all their education, knowledge, and degrees, they ended up being dead wrong.

Just because I'm not a genius like Einstein it doesn't mean I'm not smart, just because i don't have a paper with my name on it, doesn't mean I'm not capable of doing something. Just because i am young doesn't make me naive. Just because i like to have fun doesn't mean i don't know how to work and be responsible.
yet sometimes the most ignorant people are the intelligent, for they believe in their pride that they know everything; that they know who i am and what i can be. The only person who can tell me who i am is me.

Just because i am not the biggest and strongest doesn't mean i can't fight and defeat any Goliath that crosses my path. How would it be if David listened to people that told him he wasn't strong, smart, or experienced enough to fight the giant? How many giants win not because of the fight, but because the challenger was convinced that they weren't up to the task.

Anyone can be the giant slayer, race winner, and miracle worker. Its starts in believing who you are, and faith and some hard work to make who you want to be. Don't let others tell you who you are, what you can do, or who you can become. That is only for you to decide.

You may not believe me, but postpone your doubt enough to believe in me.

My best season so far

I just finished my best season ever! I felt like the prodigal son. UVU has been calling me ever since my first season in 2006, but year after year i have chosen another place. At the end of the season of my distracted adventures i had always wanted to return to my original school. I went to Xpress in 2007 because of the promise of fame. After a catastrophic end of the season for Xpress i got distracted from my return by a coach waiving money in my face under the name of a scholarship. But like Xpress, Dixie was a lie. The coaching and competition was less then par, and by the end of the season i knew that the prestige of NCAA wasn't worth it. With my tail tucked, i returned to the school i loved: UVU. I took the long road to discover my identity, but i discovered that UVU had the best coaching, competition, and comradary. To my surprise the team accepted my back with arms wide open, making me their captain with 14 of the 20 votes. Most the guys didn't even know me. I promised to myself that i wouldn't let them down, but a retorn ACL got in my way. The team took a turn for the worst with me gone, so i trained to get back into shape. I stepped on the field ready for the challenges of the opposition. The season was fantastic. I recorded 8 shutouts of my 11 games, the highest shutout percentage of my career. I also recorded my highest season save average, blocking 91% of the shots coming my way. With these two stats combined i recorded my lowest goals against average of my career. I averaged only .36 goals against average per game.

My first year playing for UVSC we weren't allowed to go to regionals because the team the year before got caught cheating. Also the year before the UVSC team got in a fight with BYU so they weren't allowed to play against each other in 2006. So even though this was my fourth collegiate season, this was my first year playing against BYU and going to regionals.

Of all the teams i have played against, i have always wanted to prove myself against this PDL team that has played against the pros. On Oct 24 at their new stadium i got the chance. This BYU squad was a combination of their current stars and their top alumni. It was against players i have always wanted to test prove myself against. I'm happy to say that i passed the test. I took some incredible shots, and was able to hold the shutout in front of their home crowd, stadium, and coach.

After that game we had regionals. I have never been to a tournament like this before, and i won't lie, i was nervous. Yet i fought through my nervousness and only allowed one goal the entire tournament. The only games we lost were games i couldn't play because of a flying elbow and a concussion. I ended the season with a shutout and a trophy. For my first time at regionals the third place trophy is not a bad accomplishment.

My next year is my senior year and my last chance for even greater victories. I've taken the route of the prodigal son but I've found my way back and next year I'll be at UVU one last time. I've had offers to move on to bigger teams, but i owe UVU too much. I'm hoping for a chance at a national trophy next year, and i believe UVU is the team to do it!

The Agony of Victory, the Glory of Defeat

Most movies and stories show the joy of the victor. Though the true heroes are those who still can remember those who couldn't make it, the truer hero is the one who is defeated but still can feel the glory in themselves.
With my knee recovering (again) i can once more step a cleated foot on the grass of my goalie box. Though joy fills my heart and my gloves, a hint of sadness has crept in with them. To be victorious i must stop others in that same pursuit. Yes, i know that its my job to do so. The goalie's objectives is to stop others at their shot at victory. I am not bothered by beating opponents, but putting down my own teammates and my own friends. My goal is to be worthy to be on that starting roster, to be the man at the back anchoring the team through the tempest of the game. But as i seek to gain that spot, i realize that i will have to push my teammates out. There is only room for one in that 18 yard square spot of sod. I know my responsibility to the team: I need to be my best and hopefully that would earn my the right to be the odd colored man on the grass. The team needs the best goalkeeper they can get to be the best team they can be. Even though others are trying their best, the team demands more. Those who can't conquer these demands can not play, some can't even be on the team. The best have to push the others off.
It was hard being part of the squad that decided who stays and who goes. It was harder still calling friend and long time teammates telling them that they didn't make it this year. But i felt the comfort of knowing that it wasn't because of me that they didn't make it. There own actions decided it, all i did was observe. Yet as a player it is my fault others aren't on the squad.
Though few noticed it, i started to feel this agony of victory when i tried out for a NCAA team. Dixie State College had 5 keepers who came down to St. George for Tryouts. Only three would make it. I was a given. One of the keepers was a given to not make it, but there was one with more heart than the rest, and he nearly had the talent to match. His name was Jordan, I'll never forget him. He was a great keeper, but there was three keepers who were better -- though not by much. On the last day of tryouts, Jordan found out that he wasn't going to make it. His dream to play at that level was shattered before it had even started. Many who know their own defeat collapse to wallow in their own self misery. Most give up on the task they already know is impossible for them to achieve. If i was him, i might have walked away then and there. But Jordan didn't. He still played his best. When the last drill of tryouts came, I was about to step on to defend the goal i would be defending through out the entire season, when i felt a tug at my jersey. Jordan looked at me. He was fighting hard to keep in the tears wanting to burst free. He asked if he could step on for one last time. I couldn't deny him and i took off my gloves, knowing that of the both of us i would be the only one to put them on again. In that moment Jordan outplayed all of the other keepers. He poured his heart into each save, and he showed the Glory of Defeat. Just because you are defeated doesn't mean you are conquered. When that whistle blew i noticed that the tears didn't threaten to escape anymore. He had a proud smile on his face. He proved it to himself, it didn't matter if coach didn't agree. I walked home already knowing my victory... and I wept. Because of me, a friend couldn't make the team. He deserved it more than me, he sacrificed more, he gave more. I had to defeat a teammate and a friend. I had to kill a comrade's dream so that mine could live on.
Now that I'm back at UVU i realize that i am forced to do the same thing again. With my jersey number on the roster, there are others who will not be able to be on that field in their own uniform. Though i know that it must be done it does not make it any easier. I have seen the victorious act like they lost the battle, but i have seen those who lost take it with the grace and pride of taking the trophy. Though i know that i will not always be in the winner's circle, I hope to fight on for those who couldn't. The responsibility of being chosen. If i fail, i fail them.

My Angels

My Wife:

MY LOVELY ANGEL
I never knew that through out my life
I had an angel now called my wife
An angel sent to be a guide for me

I’ve felt her hope I felt her love
An angel sent from up above
An angel of perfect beauty

She guided me through doubts and fears
To find her when I’ve grown in years
An angel escort for eternity

Even before we ever met
She helped me to not forget
For this angel I need to live worthy

And now she is with me here
To calm my heart and ease my fear
An angel’s hug just for me

I get to help my angel too
Together we will make it through
To heaven where we’re meant to be

My Son:

MY LITTLE ANGEL
I never knew that when I was young
But I see it now when I see my son
That I had angels right next to me

He talks to them and they understand
And reaches with his little hand
Staring places I can’t see

He brings them to our happy home
They make sure he is not alone
He brings the angels close to me

And when I see his little smile
He’s been an angel all the while
An angel always next to me

Even before he was born
My angel through strife and storm
An angel felt though I could not see

But as I hold him in my hands
Now I finally understand
He always been an angel for me

I’ve always felt his hope and love
To guide me to Him above
So I can have an angel I can see

And now this angel has been born
An angel put in mortal form
To be an angel just for me

Two Years and Counting...

My wonderful wife and i just celebrated our second delightful year as husband and wife. My bestest anniversary present was this poem I wrote:

Keep Track of Your Heart

You have a heart inside of you
That’s why you live and why I do too
I want your heart at its best
In the heat or down at rest
Through a healthy heart more love is drawn
And two things keep a heart’s love strong
One is your love for me
And my love for you for eternity
The other is to never slow
Keep love working and help it grow
Keep track of your heart, keep it strong
And love will guide you where ever you run
Through good times or bad with a good heart
Our love’s bond will be strong and unable to part
Keep track of your heart and love me too
And know that my heart is still growing for you!

As another cutesy present to go along with the poem i got her a heart monitor (get it? lol.). My wife wanted one for her cycling class.

Our anniversary was simple but splendid. Mom babysat Landon who was an angel his first night without his parents. We went to a romantic dinner and a movie and enjoyed deep conversations under the stars.

Two years have built a mountain of love, and we're still building!

Finished books available for review

For anyone interested i have two books that i have finished and would like to have reviewed. Just ask me and i can get you a copy.
The two books are:

Kingslayers -
A modern fantasy novel that takes place on Mongelt. This book deals with a group of elite soldiers during the start of the 2nd Dragon Wars. Kingslayers is the first book in a potential series. Though i would like Kingslayers to be reviewed, i have other books i would like to publish before this.

Twitching -
In in dept guide to the different muscle fibers, and how to train these fibers to acheive the body you want. Twitching is designed to improve the body's athletic performance, and how to sculpt the body you want. It is not just designed for the high performance athlete, it also can help anyone getting started in achieving their fitness goals. Everyone either wants to improve their body, or want to maintain the body they have. This book will help in both. Not only would i like Twitching read, but also put to the test. i hope to get this book published this year, but i don't want to publish this without it being reviewed and tested by as many people as possible.

The latest!!!

I have been waiting for the day that i could add this post. I didn't want to add another post until i got a job, and this weeek, i finally did!!! Better yet, i got my old job at Heritage back as a paraprofessional. I loved that job. When i first got it, just before getting married, i had to create that job from scratch. They saw a need to have a teacher teach the most dangerous kids, and i had to organize how to do it. When the job reopened up, i pounced on it like it was a loose soccer ball! Without even an interview, i got a call that i got the job! I'm so excited to return to Heritage! Especially back to my favorite job.

Also i got another job in february. I am a tracker for troubled youth in an aftercare program called Today's Youth. I have three kids that i visit and help through their program. They live with a proctor parents (like a foster parent but more temporary) and i help with the kids' program. It' s a descent job, and during the summer i plan to keep both jobs. That will give me more than 50 hours a week of work. Once school starts in the fall however, i will probably quite the tracker job, but stay at Heritage while i'm in school.

I have changed my major for the last time -- i know i say that every time, this is the sixth time i've changed it -- I'm now majoring in intigrated studies in psychology and physical education. I expect to graduate in the fall of 2010. Another post will explain the reason for that major.

At the first men's soccer team meeting at UVU the team suprisingly voted me as the team captain. I was shocked that 14 of the 20 players there voted for me to be captain. I don't think i even knew half of them, and the two other captains from last year were also nominated. I've decided not to go glory hunting this year. I have left UVU twice before to go play for other teams(xpress and Dixie) and i'm sick of vain promises and sitting on a bench. I even turned down an offer this year to tryout for the Real reserve squad. I talked to guys who tried out and they were sure that i would have made the team. But i would rather be a captain and start every game, then sit on the bench as a back up. maybe if a chance like that finds me after i am done with school...

Landon is still suprising us! Grandma practiced clapping with Landon and that night we clapped forLandon, and he was like "ok i'll clap now" and he started clapping for us. It was amazing! I often find my mouth starting to hurt from smiling so much. I can just watch my son for hours, and i don't realize it, but he just makes me smile. He's the cutest kid! And he isn't just well behaved when he visits grandma and grandpa, he always acts so cute! Any day now he is going to decide to start walking on his own. We know he can do it, he just likes the support for now. Like knowing dad's hand is holding the seat when the training wheels are taken off. I'm the luckiest guy in the world to get to spend my days with the greatest son and the most loving wife!

Intigrated studies in Psychology and Physical Education

This is my admitance essay i wrote to get into my degree. It explains why i'm choosing it...


FUSION OF BODY AND MIND
Integrated Studies Admission Essay
There has always been a separation of improving the mind, and improving the body. Therapist and counselors have been trained to improve the mind’s conditions, while trainers and coaches improve the body’s. I have worked for nearly 5 years as a counselor and just as long as a coach. I believe there is a link between the two. The conditions of the body affect the mind, while the mind’s state of being can be seen in the body.
For example, problems like obesity, anorexia, and drug abuse. All these problems originate from the mind and are reflected by the body. Though working with just the mind will cause a change in the body, the process is slow for both mind and body. If I pursue the career as a counselor I will work with both and speed up the improvement of each. I would have more tools to work with to improve the people I help. I can use physical activities to improve the mind, and also mental activities to improve the body.
For example with obesity. If I just worked with a patient’s mind to help him control the cravings he will eventually be able to suppress the cravings and lose weight and live healthier. But where are these cravings coming from in the first place? The answer is the body. Just training the mind puts it in conflict with the body, but having the mind and body working together they stay more in harmony with each other, and the change is not as difficult. By working simultaneously with the mind and body, I can help the patient control the cravings from the body, and suppress the cravings with the mind. This dramatically increases the patient’s progress. With most other physical and psychological problems the rate of progress is also increased by working both mind and body. Through an integrated study of psychology and Physical Education, I can properly study both improving mind and body.
I also plan to coach for the rest of my life. Many athletes will say that their sport is 90% mental and only 10% physical. Yet most coaches only work with the physical side of the game. That means they’re missing most of the game. With an integrated studies degree in both physical and mental improvement, I can be a better coach. Similar to coaching is a sports psychologist.
I have been a soccer goalkeeper since age five. If at all possible I would love to play professional. One of the best attributes of a goalkeeper is fast reflexes. I have always had the desire to understand the reflexes, but to do so, I have discovered that I need to study both how the mind sends the reflexes and how this signal is affected by muscle movement. I have always wanted to learn how to improve the reflexes. But that requires improving both the mind and body.
I have always seen the fusion and teamwork of the mind and body, just choosing Psychology or Physical Education as a major would be an incomplete degree for me. Fusing the two is the only way to properly improve someone’s life.

Beautiful Day

Today was such a beautiful day! So me and Landon decided to play in the sun for a little! He is getting so big!

Landon is now 9 1/2 months old! He super-crawls everywhere! He's so fast! He loves to play with his toys and could sit and study a toy for such a long toy. He's so observant! He really enjoys water! When we start his bath water, he practically dives into the bath tub! He also got to go swimming with his daddy, uncle and cousins- Michael and Emma, and absolutely loved it! He especially loves to see his cousins and play with them! He loves kids and just smiles and laughs at them. He's seems so determined to play with them. His latest is playing chase with his cousin Emma. At Grandma and Grandpa's house he was chasing her all around the kitchen and giggling so much! We are having so much fun with him :) He also has the talent of letting out these loud fake laughs. It's hilarious! His favorite foods are crackers, bananas, carrots, and whatever we're having for dinner. He'll stand by us when we're eating and open his mouth for some food. He also has 6 teeth fully in, one that has just poked through, and another on its way in. We have also been practicing walking with him. He's really good at walking around holding on to just one of our fingers! We're guessing he'll be walking soon!

He's a little bundle of joy and has a "million-dollar smile," as his Grandpa says. We are excited for new talents he'll pick up along the way!

Boy Scout Merit Badges

Merit Badges i earned:
1Archery, 2Astronomy, 3Auto Mechanics, 4Basketry, 5Camping, 6Canoeing, 7Citizinship in the Community, 8Citizinship in the Nation, 9Citizinship in the World, 10Communications,
11Electricity, 12Emergancy Preparedness, 13Enviromental Science, 14Family Life, 15Fire Safety, 16First Aid, 17Fishing, 18Graphic Arts, 19Hiking, 20Leatherwork,
21Mammal Study, 22Metalwork, 23Motorboating, 24Music, 25Oceanography, 26Personal Fitness, 27Personal Management, 28Pioneering, 29Rifle Shooting, 30Rowing,
31Safety, 32Salesmanship, 33Shotgun Shooting, 34Soil And Water Conservation, 35Sports, 36Swimming, 37Whitewater, 38Wilderness Survival, 39Wood Carving

I'm pretty sure i got more than this -- like some merit badges after i got my eagle -- but i can't find the post-eagle record.

Moved in

Despite the end, I had success down in Saint George. We loved the weather, our classes were fun, and though i didn't play as much as i would have hoped, i was glad for the experience to play NCAA soccer. I held the school record for the most saves in one game, and the highest save percentage. I held a nationally ranked team to one goal, and for our last home game of the season I had a shutout and gave the team a win in double overtime. Because of multiple players breaking multiple rules, our spring season was cancelled and after hearing that my coach didn't care about my performance, we decided to move back to Happy Valley. From that decision to being moved into a new place was less than ten days. The reason for the quick move was so that we could get started in our classes at UVU. Its great being back in Utah Valley. We didn't quite make it to Provo, but Springville is close enough! The only thing we miss is our cousins down south and the great snow-free weather. But not having a four hour commute to the nearest immediate family member is worth the cold. We moved into a two bedroom duplex with a garage and our own washer and dryer! (we had to go to a laundry mat in st George. I'm glad we don't have to save quarters any more, that adds up, like nearly 8 dollars in quarters every time we had to do laundry)

Alexa has been busy going to school. At Dixie she was going full time! A tough thing to do with a 9 week old at the start of the semester, not to mention a husband who was also in school full time and on the soccer team. She made it through, but decided just to go part time this semester so she could spend more time with Landon in the latter half of his first year. She has a year and a half to 2 years left of school, as do I. I wish we could say we'd be done after that, but we both plan to go on to get our masters degree. What can I say... we love school...yeah...that's it. Other than school, she has been enjoying being a mother, and has recently taken up sewing. She sewed 2 blessing dresses in 1 week over the Christmas break! She is looking forward to trying a quilt soon.

Landon is growing every day. Each day he has a new surprise for his parents, and I can just stare and smile at my son for hours. Though he scoots more than crawls, he is very mobile. He goes everywhere around the house. Not only does he move everywhere, he loves to climb up on things (and his parents) He says "da da da da," although whether he is talking to me is hard to tell right now. At 7 months, he looks to be over a year old! He is so tall!! He's starting to move into 18 month clothes! He brightens our day and makes the world a happier place for us :)

I love my family so much, no matter what kind of curve balls life throws, i know i have my family to bring a smile to my face. With my wife who continues to become more beautiful each day and a son who i can't stop smiling at, life is great!

Finally!

We have decided it was about time that we actually start putting posts on here :) So here we go! Landon is getting bigger and bigger! He is 7 months old today!!! Right now he has 2 teeth on the bottom, has 3!! teeth cutting through on top, and one more on top that hasn't started cutting yet! These days he is working on his crawling. He scoots EVERYWHERE and anywhere he wants to go. We are sooo excited to watch him grow into a wonderful little boy!!