IT’S TIME

Come with me it’s time to go
Come my child please take my hand
We’ll go to a place you still love and know
I’m sure others will not understand
Come with me it’s time to go
There is no reason you should fear
It’s been a joy to watch you grow
You’ve done all you can down here
Come with me it’s time to go
Follow my angelic voice
I am your friend not your foe
But now’s not the time for choice
Come with me it’s time to go
I’m the only one to blame
No one here has been a foe
For your absence no need for shame
Come with me it’s time to go
Though most will say it’s before your prime
The right way home I will show
God chose you for this time
Come with me it’s time to go
You’ve been chosen ahead of them
Grab my robe as white as snow
Know you’ll see them all again
Come with me it’s time to go
You’ve been called for greater things
When passed the veil you will know
The glory this transition brings
Come with me it’s time to go
Pain and sorrow are behind you now
Come with me it’s time to go
Come to the light I’ll show you how
Come with me it’s time to go
I am your angel here in death
Come with me it’s time to go
And take your last needed breath

For my wife of 3 years

I Never Tell You I love You Enough

I never tell you I love you enough
It’s not that I’m shy it’s not that it’s tough
I just forget to use the word
Even though I know it needs to be heard
Seeing your beauty every day
I always feel that special way
And my blank mind starts to steal
The words of love I always feel
And I often forget to say
The love I always have each day
So I say it in different ways
But not in words as often conveys
I say it with acts and works I do
I always try and show I’m true
I say it with trying to put you first
But my words are always one of my worst
I say it with kisses as much as I find
I say it with gestures I try to unwind
I say it with touches and hugs from your man
I say it in any way that I can
I say it with eyes that sometimes stare
I say it in help as the work load we share
I say it with gifts of useless stuff
But still I don’t tell you I love you enough
So if I forget to say love that way
Know that I love you every day

Simply Change your life

This video was shown in one of my psychology classes. You'll enjoy this funny skit. If changing was that easy, i'd be looking for second career because therapists would be making minimum wage. Here is my response to it:

SIMPLY CHANGE YOUR LIFE
“Forget and forgive”
“Live and let live”
“Get over it”
“If it’s bad just quit”
“Don’t think that way”
Each is a saying so simple to say
Yet the tongues not in turmoil often forget
This is often a task too soon to expect
Forgiving and living is not just a turn
It’s a process and time is required to learn
It’s not just a switch to turn off or on
Some of these changes are often life long
The body and mind takes time to change
Yet overnight results aren’t thought to be strange
Even if someone can change with speed
Others are slower and time’s all they need
If the change is a flash than it is probably not real
To change how you live and change how you feel
Start the step of the journey no matter how far
And work to improve who you are

Mislabeled

Imagine living in a world over run with sticky notes. But these sticky notes are only placed on other people. I can not put one on myself that says "Genius." and if someone puts a note on my forehead that said "Idiot" i could not take it off. Imagine looking in the mirror every day to see that everyone around me sees me as that label. I would begin to believe the notes.
Though our society doesn't deal with real labels, too many people think that they are qualified to be the ones with the sticky pad and pen.
For over five years I've worked with labeled kids. "I have ADHD," "I can't do this because i have aspergers," or "I have a learning disorder so this is too hard for me." People seem to define themselves and others by their perceived weaknesses not their strength. How come when i give a kid homework they never tell me "I can do this i have all the capabilities of being successful despite my perceived weaknesses."
In some therapy group sessions they even force a label on a person "Hi I'm... and I'm an addict." Personally i believe that the sessions would go much better if the addict said "Hi I'm ... and I'm a fighter."
It doesn't matter what weaknesses we are given. I've had students tell me they can't do an assignment because they have turrets, yet i look at the Unites States goalkeeper Tim Howard who is so successful even with this disorder.
Parents over labeling their kids curse them for life. I know parents who said all of their kids have ADHD, only one of which was diagnosed by a professional. Yet since the parents were now "pro" in ADHD they diagnosed themselves all the other children and they now all share medication for ADHD. Why do we always have to figure out what is wrong with people, and not just admit people are different in their own way?
Labels are dangerous, they destroy lives and sever friendships.
Few people have any right to label people. In less then a year I will be starting my Master's Degree in Mental Health Counseling, and I know that even when i become a certified therapist i will not be authorized to diagnose a disorder. It doesn't matter if i have had the same education as a psychiatrist (it's nearly identical). It doesn't matter that I'm more directly involved in the treatment of disorders. A psychologist is the ONLY one who is certified to diagnose. If i do not learn my proper role i could lose my dream job. It doesn't matter if someone has had thousands of patients and decades of experience with a certain disorder, anyone else beside a psychologist does not have the right or authority to diagnose the disorder.
I have a friend who had a teacher tell him that he had ADD when he was in elementary school. The teacher had no right or training in diagnosis, but since she was a "professional" he believed it, and his grades kept dropping. His excuse for his poor grades: "I have ADD."
Just because a kid has a lot of energy it doesn't mean he is ADHD. Just because a child has an imaginary friend doesn't mean they have Multiple Personality Disorder or schizophrenia.
Receiving some of the education of a physical therapist, I've learned that not even they or personal trainers can label an injury, even if it appears as obvious as broken bone. Doctor are the only ones given authority to label an injury. Psychologists are the only ones authorized to label a thought, mood, or personality disorder. Teacher, parents, relatives, friends, or neighbors have no right to label people in such a way. They are not qualified and it doesn't matter what possible symptoms are observed- THEY ARE WRONG!
Our Savior was severely labeled during His earthly ministry. Labeling was a method to dissuade people from listening to His glorious message; after all he was just the "carpenter's son." Even more labels fell on those who he taught. He walked among people labeled "sinners."
We can all be labeled as sinners and addicts. There isn't a person on earth who doesn't show signs of a disorder. So how do we have any right to point a finger at someone else? Even these truthful labels can change, because we are not titles engraved in stone. We are changing and can be different from one day to the next. Though we are all given weaknesses its through those that we find our strengths. Sinners can become prophets, weaknesses can become strengths, labels can disappear...

Ignorance of Inteligence

Laying in a hospital bed, I was completely paralyzed, but at least I finally knew what disease i was experiencing. Though the affliction were the same as the day before, knowing why and what was happening to me was a relief. Then I had a nurse tell me that my rare disease was made up by a doctor so I'd quit asking him what i have. Because she thought she knew so much, she thought that she knew it all so when a disease came across her sheet that she didn't know, she dismissed it as something made up. Because after all, she knew everything already. After a month stay in the hospital i then had a doctor tell me with all his experience that i would never play sports again. After all their education, knowledge, and degrees, they ended up being dead wrong.

Just because I'm not a genius like Einstein it doesn't mean I'm not smart, just because i don't have a paper with my name on it, doesn't mean I'm not capable of doing something. Just because i am young doesn't make me naive. Just because i like to have fun doesn't mean i don't know how to work and be responsible.
yet sometimes the most ignorant people are the intelligent, for they believe in their pride that they know everything; that they know who i am and what i can be. The only person who can tell me who i am is me.

Just because i am not the biggest and strongest doesn't mean i can't fight and defeat any Goliath that crosses my path. How would it be if David listened to people that told him he wasn't strong, smart, or experienced enough to fight the giant? How many giants win not because of the fight, but because the challenger was convinced that they weren't up to the task.

Anyone can be the giant slayer, race winner, and miracle worker. Its starts in believing who you are, and faith and some hard work to make who you want to be. Don't let others tell you who you are, what you can do, or who you can become. That is only for you to decide.

You may not believe me, but postpone your doubt enough to believe in me.

My best season so far

I just finished my best season ever! I felt like the prodigal son. UVU has been calling me ever since my first season in 2006, but year after year i have chosen another place. At the end of the season of my distracted adventures i had always wanted to return to my original school. I went to Xpress in 2007 because of the promise of fame. After a catastrophic end of the season for Xpress i got distracted from my return by a coach waiving money in my face under the name of a scholarship. But like Xpress, Dixie was a lie. The coaching and competition was less then par, and by the end of the season i knew that the prestige of NCAA wasn't worth it. With my tail tucked, i returned to the school i loved: UVU. I took the long road to discover my identity, but i discovered that UVU had the best coaching, competition, and comradary. To my surprise the team accepted my back with arms wide open, making me their captain with 14 of the 20 votes. Most the guys didn't even know me. I promised to myself that i wouldn't let them down, but a retorn ACL got in my way. The team took a turn for the worst with me gone, so i trained to get back into shape. I stepped on the field ready for the challenges of the opposition. The season was fantastic. I recorded 8 shutouts of my 11 games, the highest shutout percentage of my career. I also recorded my highest season save average, blocking 91% of the shots coming my way. With these two stats combined i recorded my lowest goals against average of my career. I averaged only .36 goals against average per game.

My first year playing for UVSC we weren't allowed to go to regionals because the team the year before got caught cheating. Also the year before the UVSC team got in a fight with BYU so they weren't allowed to play against each other in 2006. So even though this was my fourth collegiate season, this was my first year playing against BYU and going to regionals.

Of all the teams i have played against, i have always wanted to prove myself against this PDL team that has played against the pros. On Oct 24 at their new stadium i got the chance. This BYU squad was a combination of their current stars and their top alumni. It was against players i have always wanted to test prove myself against. I'm happy to say that i passed the test. I took some incredible shots, and was able to hold the shutout in front of their home crowd, stadium, and coach.

After that game we had regionals. I have never been to a tournament like this before, and i won't lie, i was nervous. Yet i fought through my nervousness and only allowed one goal the entire tournament. The only games we lost were games i couldn't play because of a flying elbow and a concussion. I ended the season with a shutout and a trophy. For my first time at regionals the third place trophy is not a bad accomplishment.

My next year is my senior year and my last chance for even greater victories. I've taken the route of the prodigal son but I've found my way back and next year I'll be at UVU one last time. I've had offers to move on to bigger teams, but i owe UVU too much. I'm hoping for a chance at a national trophy next year, and i believe UVU is the team to do it!

The Agony of Victory, the Glory of Defeat

Most movies and stories show the joy of the victor. Though the true heroes are those who still can remember those who couldn't make it, the truer hero is the one who is defeated but still can feel the glory in themselves.
With my knee recovering (again) i can once more step a cleated foot on the grass of my goalie box. Though joy fills my heart and my gloves, a hint of sadness has crept in with them. To be victorious i must stop others in that same pursuit. Yes, i know that its my job to do so. The goalie's objectives is to stop others at their shot at victory. I am not bothered by beating opponents, but putting down my own teammates and my own friends. My goal is to be worthy to be on that starting roster, to be the man at the back anchoring the team through the tempest of the game. But as i seek to gain that spot, i realize that i will have to push my teammates out. There is only room for one in that 18 yard square spot of sod. I know my responsibility to the team: I need to be my best and hopefully that would earn my the right to be the odd colored man on the grass. The team needs the best goalkeeper they can get to be the best team they can be. Even though others are trying their best, the team demands more. Those who can't conquer these demands can not play, some can't even be on the team. The best have to push the others off.
It was hard being part of the squad that decided who stays and who goes. It was harder still calling friend and long time teammates telling them that they didn't make it this year. But i felt the comfort of knowing that it wasn't because of me that they didn't make it. There own actions decided it, all i did was observe. Yet as a player it is my fault others aren't on the squad.
Though few noticed it, i started to feel this agony of victory when i tried out for a NCAA team. Dixie State College had 5 keepers who came down to St. George for Tryouts. Only three would make it. I was a given. One of the keepers was a given to not make it, but there was one with more heart than the rest, and he nearly had the talent to match. His name was Jordan, I'll never forget him. He was a great keeper, but there was three keepers who were better -- though not by much. On the last day of tryouts, Jordan found out that he wasn't going to make it. His dream to play at that level was shattered before it had even started. Many who know their own defeat collapse to wallow in their own self misery. Most give up on the task they already know is impossible for them to achieve. If i was him, i might have walked away then and there. But Jordan didn't. He still played his best. When the last drill of tryouts came, I was about to step on to defend the goal i would be defending through out the entire season, when i felt a tug at my jersey. Jordan looked at me. He was fighting hard to keep in the tears wanting to burst free. He asked if he could step on for one last time. I couldn't deny him and i took off my gloves, knowing that of the both of us i would be the only one to put them on again. In that moment Jordan outplayed all of the other keepers. He poured his heart into each save, and he showed the Glory of Defeat. Just because you are defeated doesn't mean you are conquered. When that whistle blew i noticed that the tears didn't threaten to escape anymore. He had a proud smile on his face. He proved it to himself, it didn't matter if coach didn't agree. I walked home already knowing my victory... and I wept. Because of me, a friend couldn't make the team. He deserved it more than me, he sacrificed more, he gave more. I had to defeat a teammate and a friend. I had to kill a comrade's dream so that mine could live on.
Now that I'm back at UVU i realize that i am forced to do the same thing again. With my jersey number on the roster, there are others who will not be able to be on that field in their own uniform. Though i know that it must be done it does not make it any easier. I have seen the victorious act like they lost the battle, but i have seen those who lost take it with the grace and pride of taking the trophy. Though i know that i will not always be in the winner's circle, I hope to fight on for those who couldn't. The responsibility of being chosen. If i fail, i fail them.